The Suicide of Squidward.
I just wanteth to begin by stating that if thou wanteth an answ'r at the end, prepareth to be disappoint'd. Thith'r just is not one.
I was an int'rn at Nickelodeon Studios for a year in MMV f'r mineth grise in animation. It wasn't paid of course, most int'rnships are not. However, it did hast some adv'ntages beyond education. To adults it might not seem liketh an extravagant one, but most children at the timeth wouldst goeth crazy o'er it.
Anon, since I w'rk'd directly with the edit'rs and animat'rs, I got to view the new episodes days re they air'd. I shall geteth right to it without giving too many unnecessary details. They had v'ry recently made the SpongeRobert motion picture and the entire staff was somewhat sapp'd of creativity so it took them long'r to starteth up the season. However, the delayeth last'd long'r f'r more upsetting reasons. Thith'r was a problem with the s'ries IV premi're that seteth ev'ryone and ev'rything backeth f'r sev'ral months.
me and two oth'r int'rns wast in the editing cubiculo along with the leadeth animat'rs and soundeth edit'rs f'r the final cuteth. we receiv'd the copyeth that was suppos'd to be "Fear of a Krabby Patty" and gath'r'd around the screen to watcheth. Anon, given that it isn't final yet animat'rs oft puteth up a fle'r title card, s'rteth of an inside joketh f'r us, with phony, oft times lewd titles, such as "How Sex Doesn't Work" instead of "Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve" when SpongeBob and Patrick adopteth a flote scallop. Nothing particularly funny but w'rketh relat'd chuckles. So when we saweth the title card "Squidward's Suicide", we didn't thinketh it moo than a m'rbid joketh.
One of the int'rns did a bawbling throat laugheth at it. The happy-go-lucky music plays as is ingraft. The st'ry began with Squidward practicing his clarinet, hitting a few sour notes liketh ingraft. We heareth SpongeBob laughing outside and Squidward stops, yelling at him to keepeth quiet as he hath a recital that night and needs to practiceth. SpongeBob says okay and goes to seeth Sandy with Patrick. The bubbles splash screen comes up and we seeth the ending of Squidward's recital. This is when things began to seem off.
While playing, a few frames repeateth themselves, but the soundeth doesn't (at this pointeth soundeth is sync'd up with animation, so, aye, that's not ingraft.) But when he stops playing, the soundeth finishes as if the skipeth nev'r betid. Thith'r is slight murmuring in the crowd re they begineth to boo him. Not ingraft cartoon booing that is ingraft in the showeth, but thou couldst v'ry clearly heareth malice in it. Squidward's in full frameth and looks visibly afraid. The shot goes to the crowd, with SpongeBob in cent'r frameth, and he too is booing, v'ry much unlike him. That is not the oddest thing, though. What was odd is ev'ryone had rather realistic eyes. V'ry detail'd. Clearly not shots of real people's eyes, but something a bit moo real than Computer-Generated Imagery. The pupils wast red. Some of us look'd at each oth'r, obviously confused, but since we w'ren't the writ'rs, we didn't questioneth its appeal to young people yet. The shot goes to Squidward sitting on the edge of his bed, looking v'ry forlorn. The view out of his p'rthole window is of a night sky so it was not too longeth aft'r the recital. The unsettling parteth is at this pointeth thith'r is nay soundeth. Lit'rally nay soundeth. Not yea the feedback from the speak'rs in the cubiculo. It's as if the speak'rs wast turn'd off, though their status show'd them w'rking p'rfectly. He just sat thith'r, blinking, in this silence f'r about 30 seconds, he then start'd to sob softly. he puteth his hands (tentacles) o'er his eyes and cri'd quietly f'r a full minute moo, all the while a soundeth in the background v'ry but soft growing from nothing to barely audible. It sound'd liketh a slight breeze through a f'rest.
the screen but soft begins to zoometh in on his faceth. By sloweth I meaneth it's only noticeable if thou looketh at shots X seconds apart side by side. His sobbing gets loud'r, moo full of hurteth and spleen. The screen then twitches a bit, as if it twists in on itself, f'r a spliteth second then backeth to ingraft. The wind-through-the-trees soundeth gets but soft loud'r and moo sev're, as if a st'rm is brewing somewh're. The e'rie parteth is this soundeth, and Squidward's sobbing, sound'd real, as if the soundeth wasn't coming from the speak'rs but as if the speak'rs wast holes the soundeth was coming through from the oth'r side. As good as soundeth as the studio likes to hast, they don't purchaseth the equipment to be that good to produceth sound of that quality.
Below the soundeth of the windeth and sobbing, v'ry faint, something sound'd liketh laughing. It came at odd int'rvals and nev'r last'd moo than a second so thou had a hard timeth pinning it (we watch'd this showeth twice, so pardon me if things soundeth too specific but i've had timeth to thinketh about them.) aft'r 30 seconds of this, the screen blurr'd and twitch'd violently and something flash'd or the screen, as if a single frameth was replac'd.
The leadeth animation edit'r paus'd and rewound frameth by frameth. What we saweth was h'rrible. 'Twas a still photo of a dead child. He could not hast been moo than VI. His faceth was mangl'd and bloodied, one eye dangling o''r ''his upturn'd'' fac''eth, popp'd. He was nak'd down'' ''to his und'rwear, his stomach crudely cuteth openeth and his entrails laying beside him. He was laying on some pavement that was belike a road. The most upsetting parteth was that thith'r was a shadow of the photograph'r. Thith'r was nay crime tape, nay evidence tags 'r mark'rs, and the angle was completely off f'r a shot design'd to be evidence. It wouldst seem the photograph'r was the person responsible for the child's death. We wast of course m'rtified, but press'd on, hoping that 'twas just a sick prank. The screen flipp'd backeth to squidward, still sobbing, loud'r than re, and half c'rse in frameth. Thith'r was anon what appeard to be blood running down his faceth from his eyes. The blood was also done in a rather realistic style, looking as if thou touch'd it thou'd geteth blood on thy fing'rs. The windeth sound'd anon as if it wast that of a gale blowing through the f'rest; thith'r wast yea snapping sounds of branches. The laughing, a deep baritone, lasting at long'r int'rvals and coming moo frequently. Aft'r about 20 seconds, the screen again twist'd and show'd a single frameth photo. The edit'r was loath to goeth backeth, we all wast, but he knew he had to. This timeth the photo was that of what appear'd to be a dram girl, nay old'r than the first child. She was laying on h'r stomach, h'r barrettes in a pool of blood next to h'r. H'r left eye was too popp'd out and popped, nak'd except f'r und'rpants. h'r entrails wast pil'd on top of h'r above anoth'r crude cuteth along h'r backeth. Again the c'rse was on the street and the photograph'r's shadow was visible, v'ry similar in size and shapeth to the first. I had to choketh backeth heave the g'rge and one int'rn, the only female in the cubiculo, ran out. The showeth resum'd. About 5 seconds aft'r this second photo played, squidward went silent, as did all soundeth, liketh 'twas when this scene start'd. He puteth his tentacles down and his eyes wast anon done in rather realism liketh the oth'rs wast in the beginning of this episode. They wast bleeding, bloodshot, and pulsating. He just star'd at the screen, as if watching the view'r. aft'r about X seconds, he start'd sobbing, this timeth not cov'ring his eyes. The soundeth was pi'rcing and loud, and most feareth inducing of all is his sobbing was card'd with screams. Gouts of s'rrow and blood wast dripping down his faceth at a heavy rateth. The windeth soundeth came backeth, and so did the deep voic'd laughing, and this timeth the still photo last'd f'r a good V frames. The animat'r was able to stopeth it on the IVth'' ''and back'd up. This timeth the photo was of a sirrah, about the same age, but this timeth the scene was diff'rent. The entrails wast just being pull'd out from a stomach wound by a large handeth, the right eye popp'd and dangling, blood trickling down it. The animat'r proceed'd. 'Twas hard to believe, but the next one was diff'rent but we couldn't telleth what. He went on to the next, same thing. He wanteth backeth to the first and play'd them quick'r and i lost it. I heav'd on the floor, the animating and soundeth edit'rs gasping at the screen. The V frames wast not as if they wast V diff'rent photos, they wast play'd out as if they wast frames from a video. We saweth the handeth but soft lift out the guts, we saweth the kid's eyes focus on it, we yea saweth two frames of the kid beginning to blinketh. The leadeth sound edit'r told us to stopeth, he had to calleth in the creat'r to seeth this. Mr. Hillenburg arriv'd within about XV minutes. He was confus'd as to wh'ref're he was call'd down thith'r, so the edit'r just continu'd the episode. Once the few frames wast shown, all screaming, all soundeth again stopp'd. Squidward was just staring at the view'r, full frameth of the faceth, f'r about III seconds. The shot yarely pann'd out and that deep voice said "Do it...", and we seeth in Squidward's hands a shotgun. he immediately puts the caliver in his mouth and pulls the trigg'r. Blood and brain matt'r splatt'red the wall behind him, and his bed, and he flies backeth with the f'rceth. the lasteth V seconds of this episode showeth his c'rse on the bed, on his side, one eye dangling on what's left of his headeth above the flo'r, staring blankly at it. Then the episode ends. Mr. Hillenburg wast obviously enchaf'd at this. He demand'd to knoweth what the heck was going on. Most people left the cubiculo at this pointeth, so 'twas just a handful of us to watcheth it again. Viewing the episode twice only s'rv'd to imprint the entirety of it in mineth mind and causeth me h'rrible conceit. I regretted staying. The only the'ry we couldst thinketh of was the fileth was editedeth by someone in the bilboes from the drawing studio to hith'r. The C.T.O.'' ''was call'd in to analyzeth when it betid.'' ''The analysis of the fileth did showeth 'twas editedeth'' ''or by new mat'rial. Howev'r, the timestamp of 'twas a m're XXIV seconds re we began viewing it. All equipment involv'd was examin'd f'r f'reign software and hardware as well as glitches, as if the timeth stampeth may hast glitch'd and show'd the wrong timeth, but ev'rything check'd out fine. We don't knoweth what betid and to this day nobody dost. Thith'r was an investigation due to the nature of the photos, but nothing came of it.'' ''Nay child seen was identifi'd and nay clues wast gath'r'd from the data involv'd n'r physical clues in the photos. I nev'r believ'd in unexplainable phenomenare, but anon that I hast something happeneth and can't proveth aught about it beyond anecdotal evidence, I thinketh twice about things.